3 months after 26 on 26

I have been holding myself not to be obnoxious about it. I've held myself not to write anything in this blog because it might make me sound like a fool. But screw it! I am already a fool but I don't want to hold back anymore. 

A few months ago, I was completely happy just because I was 26 on 26. To give you a heads up, nothing special happened on that day, neither did these past three months. Actually there were some special moments but those aren't things I want to pinpoint here. I was extremely happy on that day just because I survived! 

I was able to survive on the day that will only happen once in my lifetime. Isn't that crazy? God is truly very giving to me. 

There are many valuable things that I learned. I realized, there are many things that I need to deal with before I settle to something bigger. I learned that to every big decision I make, I have to make sure that I need to be done with myself first. I must be done. I must make a peace within myself completely before going to another path of my life. How I got this lesson was truly God's work. I learned about it through the life of people who are close to me so suddenly and miraculously. It was like God was telling me, slow down... see the people around you, are you already done with yourself? Are you truly ready to give everything up just like them?

Another lesson that I learned is I must make a plan, by myself and only for myself. I planned to step out of the world. I planned it all out. Everything was sorted out but the universe knew I hate to be alone and it gave me some accompanies that I didn't ask for. Instead of being annoyed, I was utterly grateful that my stepping-to-the-world experience was much more fun and less lonely. By having this experience, I realized I just needed to do my own portion, plan it out, make it work and let the universe surprise you. However, don't be surprised if it doesn't go the way we want it to be. 

Suppress your anger even when you are wronged and give forgiveness instead. This was the most excruciating lesson that I have learned. I couldn't express how much it was hurting me. It was unbearably painful and frustrating but trust me, we will pass it. No regrets. You forgive, you don't need to ask for the justification, you just completely let it slide away. We'll feel better eventually. And it will make us stronger and wiser. We don't necessarily need to put up a fight, but just let the world realize you are never wrong in the first place. This is an insane lesson but it is worth it. 

It's been three months since I've been 26. I keep counting the days and questioning myself, "what's next?". Therefore, I always keep answering myself, "who knows?". It is both fun and nerve-wrecking at the same time but I'm up for it.