Stepping into 24 got me like..

When I was a little girl, I always thought being an adult would be awesome. Every innocent mistakes that children ever made, I know.

At that passage of time, I kept thinking that I would walk alone to my campus while my hair was swept by the wind and I would wear my favorite cardigan as I wrapped it to my body. Then, I would have a tiring job but fascinating because I would laugh afterwards at the end of the day with my colleagues. I would meet my love one and recover the energy on the weekend for I would have to face a new week later on. I would go to sandy beaches with my friends after planning it like a panic psychopath then just go. So on with the imagination which will make a very long list.

Is the reality far from my expectation?

I cannot say it is or it isn’t. It happens eventually. I had a job that was very challenging but I got lots of lessons from it. I went to some places with my friends with a lot of unpredictable circumstances. And yes I went to college by walking (sometimes) but my hair wasn’t swept by the wind lol.

There are lots of memorable and surprising moments.

But as I’m stepping into 24, I realized how lonely adulthood is. It occurs to me in that way. It’s shameless to say I don’t have friends but I just feel like in that way sometimes. I was pretty much occupied with workloads but I felt empty inside. Yes I went to some great destinations but something was still missing.

I tried to console myself, I talked heart to heart with myself. I don’t find the answer yet.

All I know is that I’m longing for something that I don’t even know what it is.

Frankly saying these thoughts are burdensome to me, as I will go back and check this post and think whether I should take it down or not. Was it really necessary to share my honest thoughts and current state of mind. However, I think it will cause no harm to anyone who read it (except boredom) so here you go.

Part of me believes it’s just not me who experiences the same feelings. I just hope we figure out whatever causing my heart and yours aren’t at ease and find the solution, very soon.