another year...

I usually write down the ritual at night before the year's changed but not today. Because I don't know what could happen in the next few hours. Last year, the next few hours after I wrote the post, rain poured down heavily and I woke up with floods everywhere. So screw it, no more postponing..

Another year has passed. WOW.

Someone asked, "what have you been doing this year?". I said "discovering myself". She said "again? haven't you been doing that for years and you still haven't found yourself yet?". I was so ashamed, but to think about it now, no I am not ashamed for endlessly discovering myself.

This year, with tons of craps happening to me and everyone, I keep discovering new parts of myself. 

Part of me who happened to have health abnormalities, the decisive, resilient and determined side of me, part of me who can find solitude in loneliness, and part of me who turns out to be quite skillful in baking. The list still goes on, not to brag about myself but really I'm also amazed to find those truths about myself. 

Despite all of that, I also discover that the best part of myself hasn't cracked out yet. To lure it out, well I don't have the code yet. 

So all in all, I still believe anything happens for a reason. That maybe sucks or maybe great, who the heck knows? And this year has taught me, the journey of discovering myself never actually stops. Although I may reach the goal, settle with life, live in peace, there are a lot of circumstances (i.e. corona LMFAO) that may unveil my new side. We adapt to new circumstances, then we may discover our new selves. 

So in another year, I just wish my journey isn't rough. That's all.

Endearingly,