Friends

This blog is not about my current obsession toward FRIENDS series that had their final episode for over 19 years ago. You might be wondering why I just watch the series now, but please kindly notice that the amazing casts (Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc) are the same age as my mom, so when the pilot episode released they were around 25 years old, and I wasn't even born yet. I had watched a glimpse of some episodes on TV but I was still a minor and obviously was not allowed to tag along for long to watch the whole episode. Now, I am the same age as the characters were, the friendship from the storyline is growing the ivy inside of my heart.

So, I want to talk about friendship. The theme seems very sensitive for the people around 25-30 where they just start the wander in real world after finishing college or giving a birth to their firstborn. 

When I was young, I was vey naïve, thinking that friendship is as clear as black and white. I used to think friendship has only two categories: friend and best friend. On contrary, the more I am getting mature, the more I see how complex a human relationship is.

I realize that there are so many kinds of friendship.

• The one that allows you to tell from A-Z problem
• The one that is exactly one call away and immediately go to your place if you need them
• The one that stays in your place for hours and hours, or even take a never ending sleepover at your place
• The one that keeps in touch by texting you but rejects your call
• The one that sends you countless memes without any following topics to discuss, just memes
• The one that shares the picture of their firstborn and keeps asking when you are going to pay a visit
• The one that almost never talks with you but pays attention to every single post you share
• The one that has zero chance to meet and keep planning to anyway although it has never happened yet
• The one that can swung open your door and take something out from your refrigerator every time you want just like Ross, Joey, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica do to Monica's apartment or Joey's place. 

and more....

There is one girl whom I met when we were in college. She went to the same department and major as I did but we were never in the same class except when it was a public lecture class. We never even sat to each other but we did some of organizational projects together. She is totally a clingy person. I tried to analyze and did some reflections what made her being suddenly so hug-y to me even when the others couldn't even start a conversation with me but the answer was only the universe’s work. As moments go by, I just let her be. 

Then we graduated at the same time. Still, we didn't put any special memories together though we did congratulate each other. She hugged me then we proceeded on to our own family and friends who came for us.

I never knew her story, believe me. 

She never knew mine, I could bet on that. 

Fast forward, she was moving to the capital city. We happened to take care of each other. Then she continued her life and work on her own and I did mine too. 

Years living with just one hour train time away from each other doesn't mean our regularity to meet because we don't, let alone texting or calling. When the moment is right, we meet. It happens like maybe one time a year, a very rare one. However, every time we call it ‘the time’, there feels like a little push inside my heart to make an effort to drag my bottom up to meet her. 

In those rare meetings, we pour each other with all the spices of life we taste, describe all the ingredients and we leave no crumbs. It is always intense yet light, clear and detailed. We are not afraid to tell all the details because we know that there's no use for us to spill it to anyone. She lives in a different world of mine, different people, so no benefits of sharing my secrets to her world. So do I to anyone.  

We just connect. Just like that. The kind of friendship that will not make it on the poster but got a credit for its special appearance, hahaha kidding. It's actually a kind of friendship that Randy Newman’s "You've got a friend in me" in Toy Story. I know I won't contact her when I feel down or when anything happens to me. Because the truth is when I was in my darkest time, I didn't. And she won't do the same thing, too. Despite all the contrast of our perspectives and a total different aspects of life we have, we still cling on to this friendship since she's got a friend in me, and I've got hers. We believe the same thing on that one.

There are only few of friendships I have in this weird phase of life. I can easily count how many friendships I have, and not even one is close to what Sheldon Cooper, Raj Koothrappali, Leonard Hofstadter, Howard Wolowitz and Penny have in The Big Bang Theory. This one friendship with this girl is also the bizarre one, a mismatched and seems unreliable. But it works out fine. 

Thinking how could that be? 

The answer that I can come up with is if you respect the friendship, you will find a way to sustain it. 

It needs effort but it's worth it. Like Phoebe said on episode The One with All the Cheesecakes, "Boyfriend and girlfriend will come and go, but this is for life."